Chesley Pants

Today I was cleaning out some of my old notebooks and folders and came across some excellent memories. My roommates and I apparently had a little too much free time freshmen year and we would write random notes. I received several love notes from various characters such as Nard the Nerd, Dudley the Dork, Gregory the Geek, and a Harry Potter loving secret admirer. One particular day, Lynsie must have been especially bored and  wrote me this note, which is much better in her handwriting, but I don't want to have to mess with the scanner. 


Dearest Chesley Pants,
Enclosed is the write up for your biography. What a gripping tale it was! We hope you will like the brief summary we have decided to print on the back cover for people of all ages to discover and love. We are assured it will become a timeless classic - ranked among those like Kiss My Cold Dead Lips and Your Shoes Smell Like Candy Corn. 


Best of Luck - 
Sincerely, 
Your Editors and Publisher


Welcome to sparsely populated Holden. The only problem is that it is too sparsely populated for Chesley Pants to find true love. By all appearances Chesley has a life many people dream of. She is a wonderful cook, a spineless chocoholic, and is bilingual. However, Chesley Pants would rather be sitting at home, accepting travelers checks, than eating chicken tacos. And those that know her know that underneath the surface lies a complex girl, who loves her non-liquor, probably a little too much. 
Enter Thadius Mumford, a pizza delivery boy who can quote Dr. Seuss by heart. At first Chesley finds Thadius annoying -cute, but annoying. Even with some intellectual and psychological problems, they fall deeply, blissfully in love. When their brief time together comes to an end, they decide to meet again in sixty years to find out if their attraction had any lasting possibilities. But time has a way of complicating even the most beautiful of beginnings. Chesley's friend, finding out about the arranged meeting, change the names and numbers in her cell phone, severing her ties with the illiterate, edging forty, delivery boy.
Years later, Chesley has grown ill of eating pizza, ordering out every meal in hopes of seeing Thadius again. Giving up on ever finding true love, Chesley finds herself facing a decision - spending her last $40 on a trip to a Dr. Seuss convention or actually accepting the offer of a date from the handsome millionaire in the next town over.


I hope you enjoyed that. I can't remember receiving this letter and Lynsie said that she can't remember writing it, but it made me really happy to find it tonight. Maybe you will get to hear some of the love notes another day.



Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m.traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m.at a speed of 35 mph.